Hi friends,
1 John 5:14-15 says,
This is the confidence we have before him: If we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears whatever we ask, we know that we have what we have asked of him.
Dr. Craig Keener notes the similarities to John 14:12-14, where Jesus promises,
“Whatever you ask in my name, I will do it so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it."
So, why doesn’t God answer our prayers?
For instance, 1 Timothy 2:4 says, “[God] wants everyone to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.”
If we pray for someone to be saved, which seems to be aligned with God’s will, why do some people reject Jesus for their entire lives?
Out of all the commentaries I read on this question, I think J. Ramsey Michaels provides the wisest answer. He explains that to ask in the name of Jesus means something like “Ask as if I [Jesus] were asking,” or “Ask what I [Jesus] would ask.”
As he puts it, “It is not a matter of an individual’s personal whims or desires, but of bringing to realization all that Jesus wants to accomplish in the world.”
In the Ancient Christian Commentary on Scripture we find Bede the Venerable’s wisdom on the passage in 1 John:
There are two sides to this, because on the one hand we are expected to ask for the things which he wants us to ask for, and at the same time we are expected to come to understand what those things are. This is what it means to have the kind of faith which works through love.
That’s a hard challenge. I often pray like I’m talking to a genie recently released from a bottle, required to give me whatever I want. But that’s not the appropriate attitude for addressing my Creator, Savior, and Lord.
So, on a practical level, how do we live this out?
First, I have to recognize my disappointment.
I wish that my desires were more aligned with God’s.
In addition, I wish God’s desires were more aligned with mine!
But clearly, there is a gap. That’s frustrating. Sometimes, I’m even angry at God. I can’t see any good reason for the divergence between my prayers and his answers.
It’s easy to assume there isn’t a good one and to question God’s character!
And God allows and even invites us to tell him how we really feel about him.
Second, I need to evaluate my desires.
On the one hand, prayer will humble me. I’m seeking to be aligned with what God wants to see happen in the world — “thy kingdom come, thy will be done.”
On the other hand, prayer will embolden me. I’m participating in God’s work in the world! I can ask him for anything related to the glory of his name and the expansion of his kingdom.
But… do I want to be aligned with God’s will?
I think this can be an area of transformative prayer. “God, here’s what I want… but help me to want what you want.”
Third, I need to remember who God is and what God is like
When we ask God to end injustice, heal disease, and bring salvation, and nothing happens, should we conclude that God doesn’t care about these problems?
Sometimes I feel like that’s a reasonable approach.
But I need to remind myself that throughout the Scriptures, and in the life of Jesus, we see the opposite is true: God is constantly working to establish justice, to care for his people, and to rescue us from our sins.
So, why doesn’t God answer our prayers?
I think the answer can be summarized like this:
Our prayers have to be aligned with his will, his wisdom, and his timing.
How many of us can claim to know God’s will, wisdom, and timing for everything we pray about?
There’s always a gap.
For instance, how often do we pray, “God, thank you for ending slavery in America”? That’s a done deal, so we might not pray about it very often. But for generations, people petitioned God to rescue them from bondage.
Because we’re usually asking God to address situations that aren’t yet resolved, we need to reset our expectations: There’s going to be a delay, and there’s going to be a mystery.
Can we pray like Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane—and accept God’s answer, even if he asks us to sacrificially love others?
In the meantime, we know that God invites us to tell him about it all - what we want to happen, and how we need his help in the meantime.
Finally… we’re going to need each other.
When we’re really stuck, I think it helps to write down our prayers to God so we can better see what’s going on in our heart.
And if we have someone we can talk about it with, it helps to process it with them as well. Because if I’m stuck in a pattern of unanswered prayer, I’m going to need help from others. In my grief or frustration or disappointment, I need other Christians to help me get through the disconnect with God.
At the same time, if we’re going to see God at work through us, we need to spend time in prayer together, asking God to unite us in humility in his mission. Then, when God answers our prayers, we are united in wanting what God wants us to do to serve him together.
(I’ve shared more thoughts on this subject here: Why doesn't God answer our prayers? — Uncommon Pursuit)
I think every Christian has had to make sense of God not answering their prayers. What has helped you make sense of this?