Hi friends,
In a viral discussion on X, Jess Piper wrote:
My pastor poked fun at a homeless man who visited our church asking for food. He told the man, “We aren’t running a food kitchen here.”
She then asked, “Why did you stop going to church?”
As I read through the responses, I identified at least seven categories of why people say they left the church.
Here’s what I found, along with the most heartbreaking quotes for each one:
1. Financial Discrimination
A tier system of how much money a household donated. Had to prove loyalty from the pocket, the more money the “closer to God” a person can be. It was not about fellowship but how deep the pockets were. The church no longer exists, pockets must have not been that deep.
2. Judgmentalism
I was told being gay meant my life was less than an adulterer or (actual) pedophile, just because of who I love, and I should be “removed” from society. They also said dancing was satanic.
3. Sexual Abuse
A youth pastor SA [sexually assaulted] me and I told one of the main pastors of the church but he didn’t believe me and instead kicked me out of the church. After that I never went to another church because as a matter of fact, my life got so much better when I left religion completely.
4. Unanswered Prayers
After my paternal aunt passed away when I was 16, I prayed a lot over the year after she passed that my biological father would stop being abusive (I won’t go into the details). He didn’t change and that magical voice people say they hear never spoke to me in my entire life.
5. Treated Badly
I volunteered to clean a church. 3 times a week. Had a baby went back to volunteering and took my new born with me. I stopped to feed my newborn. They yelled at me. So I yelled back. Then they banned me from the church.
6. Lack of Compassion
I left Christianity for good, when I was told by a church lady at the church I and my family had attended for 3 years, that they “didn’t give charity” when I asked for some money to feed my family…
7. Felt Pressured
It was usually SO boring. But to be 100% honest—it’s the worship music/time. It has always felt oppressive to me for as long as I can remember. I’m still trying to figure out why. Maybe it’s cause it’s trying to get me to have an emotional response?
I have two main thoughts:
First, if I had these experiences, I’d think about leaving the church, too.
Second, if these churches had simply imitated Jesus by demonstrating an honest faith in God and loving these people, they might be actively involved.
What do you think and feel as you read these heartbreaking stories?