What does God look at more: the state of the heart, or theological correctness?

[andrew3 (Andrew Binskey)]

“For man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
Matthew 25:34-40

My aunt is culturally Buddhist and immigrated from a Buddhist country. I have spent many hours trying to “educate her” in Christian basics. I’ve taken her to church a few times, sent her educational videos on Bible stories, explained that she is a sinner and needs salvation through Christ, etc. But she never seems to quite comprehend it—she appreciates it and doesn’t fight it, but I just don’t feel like she is convicted, theologically speaking.

Now here’s where confusion sets in for me. My aunt basically acts and lives like a Christian in every other respect. She is like the woman that Proverbs 31 describes: She takes wonderful care of my uncle and wonderful care of her children. She is modest, kind, patient, loving, sacrificial, long-suffering. She embodies the principles of Christian love by taking care of others.

She strikes me as one of the Righteous that Christ mentions in Matthew 25:34-40.

My mother has said that my aunt is going to Hell because she is not a Christian and doesn’t go to church. My mother has also said that nothing we do is of any value to God, no matter how Christ-like it is, unless it is done expressly in the name of Jesus. But that seems to distinctly contradict Jesus’s words in Matthew 25:34-40. And if God looks at the heart, I can’t possibly believe that my mother is correct in this matter.

My aunt reminds me of Emeth in the Chronicles of Narnia, who could be likened to an upright person for whom the theology of Christianity just never clicked. But Aslan welcomed him into Narnia because of the faithfulness of his heart.

Help me, because this issue has caused a great deal of tension between me and my Mom, and I’m torn up inside about whether my aunt is going to Hell or not.

[Carson]

Hi @andrew3,

Thank you for sharing this struggle with us. I think anyone who a) loves God and b) loves others will feel this tension in a painful way.

Nearly everyone knows someone like your aunt, and it seems deeply, deeply unfair that someone so good might go to hell… especially when, say, the thief on the cross went to heaven.

Presumably, his crucifixion was somewhat warranted (though the method of execution strikes me as a barbaric crime against humanity, no matter how badly they acted). Yet in spite of his crimes, he has a conversation with Jesus and goes to paradise?

I don’t have a logical flow of points about this. But thinking ‘in a circle’, here are some observations from different sides of the picture.

First and most important, I would like to suggest there is a deeper issue than theology or morality, and it is love. That is, as I see it, the ultimate question behind ‘putting your faith in Christ’ is a choice to love God.

What is peculiar about the Biblical picture is that humans can love anything more than God. The obvious ones are money, sex, and power. But the less obvious ones are included too… including being a good person.

Second, sometimes I think Christians only think along one dimension: saved or not saved. However, it seems to me that you are looking at people in more complicated, realistic ways. Everyone has multiple identities and facets to who they are.

It is good and right to appreciate someone for their virtue, creativity, hard work, intelligence, or whatever else they demonstrate that, within its scope, is a beautiful representation of being human - someone who bears God’s image, no matter what they believe or do.

Third, it is a curious thing to judge God for how he judges us.

Now, I understand that we have to do this! We feel compelled to test any concept of God against our moral intuitions. This helps us evaluate different religions and philosophies, different interpretations of the Bible, and so on. So I think it’s inevitable, and I don’t think we should be ashamed of it.

At the same time, as we encounter God in the Scriptures, there is a very obvious sense that he is holy, holy, holy, and we are… not. There has to be room to say, at some level, “I trust that God will do what’s right.”

So, for instance, will God send anyone who deserves to go to heaven, to hell, on a technicality? By no means!

But what is a technicality? What is going on in the inner depths of a person’s heart? Who can see all, know all, and judge each person with perfect righteousness? Surely, despite our best thinking, we must decide either: I can trust the God of the Bible to do what is just or… I cannot.

And how has God given us confidence that he judges rightly? I can’t think of anything more impressive than the self-giving love of the Incarnation and crucifixion of Jesus, confirmed as divine acts by his resurrection and ascension.

So, to wrap it all up, what about your aunt?

Well, I don’t know!

You say, “When God looks at the heart, I can’t possibly believe that my mother is correct in this matter.” I appreciate that - you have to trust you know your aunt. And, without claiming anything specific about your aunt, I myself feel less confident that I know the complete state of anyone’s heart. For instance, at a minimum, your aunt has been repeatedly exposed to Jesus and the gospel, and decided she’s not interested.

I entertain this hope: perhaps, in the split-second before death, God offers each person a miraculous self-disclosure of his overwhelming love, and invites them to respond with their love for him. Perhaps some say, “Oh, you’re who I’ve been looking for!” And immediately adore and worship God, die, and pass into his presence.

Perhaps others — even lifelong churchgoers — recoil in horror and say, “No, you can’t be like this!”, die, and spend an eternity feeling revolted by who they know God to be.

This seems like the kind of opportunity that Jesus offered the thief on the cross.

But it is 100% speculation. And I am entirely comfortable if God doesn’t do this. It seems like one way he could do it, but who I am to suggest how God aligns his holiness with his mercy? I do think his ways are far above my own ways.

So, what now?

How can you bring this anxiety and worry about your aunt to God? I believe God is more than comfortable ‘wrestling’ with you - and being with you in this unease.

Instead of having this disagreement cause tension with your Mom, how could you seek peace in this relationship? Let’s say you’re 100% right and your Mom is 100% wrong. How does this change how you love your Mom? Or what if she’s right, and you’re wrong? Would that change how you love your Mom?

I look forward to learning from your thoughts and those of others in the community.