Recently I was at a musical performance at my kid’s school. One of the songs repeatedly had the students singing about how the holidays are the happiest, absolute happiest, most happy time of the year.
But looking at their body language, it was obvious they were more concerned with getting through the awkwardness of singing — and avoid making their teacher upset with them.
Even watching it through the rosy eyes of a parent, it was an unsettling, jarring contrast between the content of the song and the mood of the performers.
A heavy-handed emphasis on joy can break our spirits.
Or, have you ever been at church as the entire congregation and worship band burst out in energetic, wholehearted, joyful worship — and you felt depressed?
The pain of feeling disconnected from God, anxious about work, and discouraged about a strained relationship can feel strangely intensified by being around so many enthusiastically happy people. At times, it’s felt like an out-of-body experience for me.
If you’ve been connecting with me for any length of time, you know that I find the Psalms very grounding. First, they’re authorized prayers. You can’t argue that God doesn’t like these prayers! They’re in the Bible, so we know it’s ok to talk to God like this. Even better: we’re encouraged to pray like this.
In Psalm 4:6, David plainly states, "Many are asking, “Who can show us anything good?”
What timeless words.
It’s impossible to improve upon them.
In his commentary on the Psalm, Craig Broyles explains a wordplay in the Hebrew that’s hidden in the English. David asks God, “in a narrow place make for me a wide place.” (Let’s keep this secret to ourselves, or it will become the refrain of a top 10 contemporary Christian hymn).
David is in a narrow place.
He’s complaining to God that his enemies are making his life miserable - they are shaming him, loving what is worthless, and pursuing lies.
He wants God to intervene - he’s confident God will hear him - but he’s in distress and anxious about if, or when, his situation might improve.
Do you have a problem that you can’t solve? A relationship that never gets better? A chronic health issue?
Imagine being trapped in a canyon, shrouded in darkness, cold and hungry. Above you in the bright sunlight, you hear a group of hikers laughing and singing and enjoying the view. With a parched throat, you shout as loudly as you can, “Help! Help!” But they can’t hear you, and slowly, you hear their singing get quieter, and then the silence returns again.
That’s how some of us feel with God.
When Christmas is hard, what pains me is to hear ‘joy’ presented as a burden, like schoolchildren forced to sing about happy holidays.
Because the command to be joyful can add to our heaviness the burden of shame, guilt, and the pressure to try harder.
But what’s the alternative? To stay honest about the darkness, and give up hope in the light?
David makes a decisive decision to trust God. He concludes his prayer:
Let the light of your face shine on us, LORD.
You have put more joy in my heart
than they have when their grain and new wine abound.
I will both lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, LORD, make me live in safety.
David is straightforward about his external problems and internal turmoil. There’s no stuffing or denying the pain.
Then where does his joy come from? From looking at the face of God, and seeing that God is smiling upon him. David is not manufacturing joy, but receiving it as a gift from God.
So, as we celebrate Advent, may we remember that God is with us, however dark the night may be.
P.S. If you’re looking for a hymn to accompany this reflection, consider meditating on O Come, O Come, Emmanuel: O Come, O Come, Emmanuel | Hymnary.org