In today’s Daily over at Friends Following Jesus, Carson shared the heartbreaking story of a time that faithfully following Jesus cost him almost everything—his job, his friends, and his community.
He challenged us as readers to ask ourselves when following Jesus has cost us, and how those experiences might have led us to feel like our faith was nothing but failure. I didn’t want to ask or answer those questions when I read today’s study with my morning tea, but they have continued to haunt me all day.
About a year ago, I boldly (perhaps too boldly) begged the Lord to draw me closer to him and told him I would give up anything that was standing in the way of that. I told him I would be brave and would surrender anything that I was allowing to comfort and sustain me instead of Him. He answered that prayer in a way that was and remains extremely painful, by allowing some dear friends to make decisions that removed them from my life.
It wasn’t until they were gone and I felt the cavity they had left in my life that I came to realize how much I had been relying on their presence as a poor substitute for the presence of God. I continue to grieve their loss every day and, like Carson, have wondered at times, “Was Jesus worth this?”
But like Carson, and like Simon Peter, I remain far more desperate for the Spirit to give me life than I am for the affirmation and comfort of people.
What has following Jesus cost you?
Has it been worth it so far or does faith still feel like failure?