@richard4, thank you for sharing your question and these verses!
Col 3:16; Eph 5:19; and James 5:13 are excellent examples of how Christians are called to praise, songs, hymns, and spiritual songs! And it’s been wonderful seeing you share how God has been calling you to write songs that celebrate him as you go through the 12 Steps to God course!
One thing I’ve noticed about these verses though is that, while they do call us to sing praise to God, they do not tell us that other singing is not allowed.
Yet when thinking about this, the other verse you shared, Phil 4:8, can be a very helpful guide!
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
So when you share that,
I agree that we do not want to promote immorality and violence!
The question is then if any secular music can be true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, or worthy of praise. And I think this is where a lot of people might disagree with one another.
For me, I think there are several song secular songs that don’t promote immorality or violence and do seem to hold elements of just and commendable actions. For example, “You’ve Got a Friend in Me,” reminds me a lot of Jontahon’s steadfast friendship toward David throughout the book of Samuel. And instrumental music I have often found to be made with excellence and to help me focus and do my best as I serve God through both my work and school work. Sometimes too, this music can help me share Christ with others in a way that they find relatable, as Paul does in Acts 17:28.
Yet it is totally okay to disagree! As @Carson shared, I also support your conviction to only listen to and produce Christian music.
As the end of Rom 14:14 says, “Still, to someone who considers a thing to be unclean, to that one it is unclean.” So it’s important for everyone who believes that Christians should only listen to and make Christian music to do so, and, as Rom 14:23 supports, even those who are unsure about it should be careful to only listen to or make Christian music.
It is what comes from our heart and whether we are working to glorify God that is important. @Carson talks more about this from a passage in Matthew in his video, Will Swearing Send me to Hell, that I think address your last question too! It’d recommend clicking the link to check it out if you’re interested!
Lastly, regardless of what anyone believes about whether it is ok to make or listen to secular music, it is important to not look down on or judge others for believing differently. As Romans 14:1-13 shares, each of us is living for the Lord and he is the one to whom each person gives an account, not to one another. So it is important to treat one another with gentleness and kindness, knowing that we each belong to the Lord.